A Scientific Analysis [26/09/2007]     Now i'm normally not one to question what a truck tells me to do. "Eat fruit" is a good example of this. That's good advice. I agree and concur. But sometimes a truck will tell me to do something that I just don't want to fucking do. Take the below truck:        Now I can think of at least 6 reasons why I wouldn't want to invite 'Gus' the creepy ass asparigus TO MY HOME IN WHICH I SLEEP. Please refer to fig 1.0 below:        1. Gus. I'm going to break this to you lightly. Your head, it looks like a penis. When I invite someone into my home, I don't want them to look like a giant penis.    2. Angry eyes. Gus, I'm meant to be inviting you into my home. You look like you're angrily forcing your way into my home. And that pose. Like you've just burst in and now you're all like "EEYYYYY!! NICE WIFE YOU GOT THERE! I BET SHE'D LIKE A BIT OF THIS!" *pelvic thrusts* What's the fucking deal Gus?! Also, you look like a creepy vegetable version of the joker:        3. Creepy gloves. Why does an asparagus wear gloves? When you wear gloves, you're doing something dirty or strenuous. He looks like he's doing something dirty. And I don't like that.    4. Purple nubby things. I don't like them. He looks like he's wearing a lop sided bikini.    5. No pants, creepy knees. You wanna come in my home? Meet my kids? You put some pants on, brother.    6. Ugly british bobby shoes. I don't trust you. You went out and spent money on those shoes? Well guess what. You can just fuck the fuck off.          Fuck he's a creepy vegetable.    Speaking of creepy:      Go back to main page...     All content on this site is copyright of me, 2006 to whenever. If you like this, email me, or head on down to www.thevulpine.com.au to listen to my band!