f**k yeah! [25/04/2008]     Look, it's not that Connex is overall bad. We understand that things happen that are outside their control, ie. the weather, things falling on the tracks, drunken jackasses. It's not that we're so excessively anal that we care about being 2 - 5 minutes late or early, or even having to wait for another train ever now and again.    We all hate Connex for the same simple reason, and it's so frustrating that they don't understand.    Connex are quite simply, a bunch of cunts.    Take this graph:        I just made it up just then, but I guarentee you, it's almost 100% accurate. So why are they so cuntaful?    We've all had the same drunken conversations about how they treat everyone like criminals etc, but it really comes down to the fact that someone who is in charge of this company is just being a complete ass and a half of royal fuckness.    I think they're very convinced that we're a bunch of bastards who basically can't have nice things.        Which brings me to point 2.    Let's just visualise a Connex board meeting here:    CONNEXMAN: PEOPLE OF CONNEX, STRANGERS FROM DISTANT LANDS. WE ARE GATHERED HERE BECAUSE WE FACE A DISTANT THREAT FROM MORDOR.    Business men: Bill, we run trains ok. We just want to set up a train netwo--    CONNEXMAN: SILENCE. THIS THREAT HAS GONE UNCHALLENGED TOO LONG.    Business men: Seriously Bill, we haven't even set it up ye--    CONNEXMAN: SILENCE! WHO WILL FACE THE EVIL HORDES OF MORDOR? WHO WILL ANSWER THE CALL??!1    Some guy up the back: I WILL FACE THIS CHALLENGE.    Business men: Wha? Who are you? How did you get in?    Some other guy up the back: AS WILL I.    Another guy up the back: YOU HAVE MY SWORD.    CONNEXMAN: THEN IT IS DONE. WE FORGE THE FOLLOWSHIP OF CONNEX TO DEFEND AGAINST THIS EVIL.    And so what you get is a bunch of 'ticket inspectors' who think:    a) they are the law  b) they are super cool  c) they are well respected, liked and uphold the ideals of good    ie, people who think they are this:        Ever been spoken to by a Connex inspector? Did you ever once think, 'oh, that was nice, what a nice person'. Or did you think 'what a piece of cunt. i hope they trip and fall on the way home so that they chip their teeth and it costs them hundreds in dental work.'    So look. We don't care about stuff ups, delays, missing trains, whatever. We just don't want to have to deal with a bunch of cunts on a day to day basis just because we have no choice. Stop being cunts. Be nice. We give you money.              disclaimer: this scathingly unrealistic and biased commentary brought to you by me. everything on this page is 100% fact directly from my brain, and also no research at all went into writing it. don't like it? get off my internets. i paid for this little bit of it.   Go back to main page...     All content on this site is copyright of me, 2006 to whenever. If you like this, email me, or head on down to www.thevulpine.com.au to listen to my band!